It’s 2026, and we should all know by now that anal sex doesn’t belong to any one gender, sexual orientation, or relationship get-up. Anal play has room for everyone from men chasing a deeper prostate orgasm, women curious about A-spot pleasure, couples wanting to add something new to their intimate lives, and anyone exploring solo.

If you’re newer to the world of anal sex, we know that the questions are probably piling up. Will it hurt? Is there a “right” way to do it? Do you need to have a partner, or can you start completely alone? These are all fair questions and exactly what we’re going to cover in this article: what anal sex actually involves, how to do it safely, which toys make the best starting points, and the techniques that turn “tried it once” into “wait… I actually enjoy this now.”

Here’s where a lot of people get it wrong: anal sex isn’t just intercourse. It covers any sexual activity involving the anus, and that includes plenty of stimulation that never goes near full penetration. 

That distinction opens up more entry points than most beginners realize. Researchers studying anal pleasure describe a few distinct categories: surfacing (touch on the outside of the anus), shallowing (penetration just past the entrance, short of what most people may picture as “anal sex”), and pairing (anal touch combined with other stimulation, like clitoral or penis play happening at the same time). None of these require full intercourse to feel good or to experiment with anal intimacy.  

It’s also worth noting that anal sex is far more common than the stigma around it suggests, across straight, gay, and bisexual couples alike as the anus is packed with nerve endings, which is exactly why it can feel so good once you’re relaxed into it.

None of this requires a script, or play by play either. Plenty of people start their anal exploration with anal sex toys as they offer a way for curious individuals to experiment with various sizes, positions, stimulation points and more.

Not sure where to start when it comes to choosing an anal toy that suits your needs? Check our quick table below to see which one suits you best.

Here’s something most men don’t realize until they try it: the male prostate is essentially your version of a G-spot, and the most effective way to reach it directly is through anal stimulation. Located just a couple inches inside the rectum, the size of a walnut (but packed with tons of nerve endings), once stimulated, it can trigger a prostate orgasm that many men report to feel deeper, longer and more full-body than a typical penis orgasm.

That’s exactly what a prostate massager is built for. The Edge 2 utilizes an independent dual-motor design with an adjustable neck so you can fine-tune the angle until it’s sitting right against the spot that matters the most. It’s also fully hands-free and app-controlled, meaning you can get comfortable and let the device do all the work. 

Want more options before deciding? Check out our full lineup of prostate massagers , or check out our Edge 2 vs. Ridge vs. Hush 2 comparison if you're weighing a prostate toy against anal toys.

A common assumption is that anal toys are designed with men in mind first, and that’s not accurate. Most anal sex toys work beautifully regardless of anatomy, and people with vulvas may also enjoy anal play because it can add indirect pressure around nearby vaginal pleasure areas, especially when paired with clitoral or vaginal stimulation. 

Additionally, plenty of women explore anal play purely for their own pleasure, whether solo or otherwise, and the sex toys for women built for this category are designed with exactly that in mind.

The Lush Anal is not only for those born with vulvas, but it is a great choice for women wanting to explore anal play for the first time. It’s one of the easiest entry points available on the market as it’s slim, sized specifically for beginners, and app-controlled, so a partner can take the reins remotely (if that’s what you’re into). It also comes with a flared base and soft silicone body to keep it comfortable for longer sessions. 

Curious how it stacks up against other beginner-friendly picks? Check out our roundup of the best anal toys for women, or read the full Lush Anal review before deciding.

Some of the best unisex anal toys on the market aren’t designed around one body type at all. They’re built for anyone with an anus, which is, well… everyone. 

The Hush 2 series, our app-controlled vibrating butt plug, is the clearest example, as it comes in four sizes, 1, 1.5, 1.75, and 2.25 inches, so beginners and more advanced users alike can find the anal plug that matches their comfort level. Whether you’re starting small and sizing up over time, the Hush 2 series gives you options so you don’t have to guess the size you might not be ready for. 

Then there’s the Ridge, our rotating anal beads, which pairs vibration with rotating beads for a more layered, textured sensation. Described as one of Lovense’s more versatile picks as it can provide prostate stimulation for people with prostates, and indirect G-spot/A-spot pressure for people with vaginas, especially when paired with other stimulation.

Trying to decide between the three? Our Lush Anal, Hush 2, and Ridge comparison breaks down which one actually fits your goals. You can also visit the unisex anal toy collection to find more information about our toys.

Yes, as long as you take a few precautions seriously. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not lubricate itself, and the tissue lining is thinner and more delicate (making it more susceptible to tears and damage). That makes lubricant a must, NOT optional, and not “if you feel like it”. Skipping it is the single biggest reason anal sex ends up being painful instead of pleasurable.

A few other safety basics worth locking in before you start:

If this is your first time exploring anal play at all, we’d genuinely recommend starting with a toy rather than full penetration with a partner as a toy lets you control the size, pace, and pressure entirely on your own. 

It’s also worth knowing about HPV, MPOX vaccination, and for anyone at higher risk for HIV, preventative medications like PrEP, all of which are worth having a conversation with your licensed general practitioner if anal sex is going to be a regular part of your routine.

Preparation for anal sex goes far beyond the physical, as your headspace matters just as much as what goes on in your body. 

Mentally, give yourself permission to go slow. There’s no timeline, no single correct way to do this, and zero shame in stopping the moment something doesn’t feel right. If a partner’s involved, talking about your comfort level, limits, and a stop signal beforehand takes a surprising amount of pressure off your experience.

Physically, a handful of small steps make a noticeable difference:

By this point, you should know that arousal changes how your body physically responds to touch, and anal touch is no different—as the muscles relax more easily, sensation will feel more pleasurable instead of just intense.

Anal Sex Tips for Beginners

Run through this short checklist before you start:

During: breathe steadily, consciously relax the sphincter (the same muscle you'd squeeze to hold in a bowel movement), and let arousal build before increasing depth or pace.

Aftercare matters too. Clean up with mild soap and water, switch to a fresh condom before any vaginal or oral contact, and check in with your partner about what felt good and what didn't.

Once the basics feel comfortable, a few anal sex techniques can take things further:

Want a deeper breakdown of orgasm-specific techniques? Our anal orgasm guide walks through exactly how to get there, and total beginners might prefer easing in with our guide to the best anal stimulation toys first.

Anal sex isn't complicated once the mystery gets stripped away. Use lube every single time, go slower than you think you need to, keep communication open with a partner (or with yourself, if you're flying solo), and start with a toy built for beginners if this is genuinely new territory.

Whether you're drawn to the Edge 2 for prostate-focused play, the Lush Anal for an easy first toy, or the Hush 2 and Ridge for something that works regardless of anatomy, there's a starting point here for absolutely everyone.

Browse Lovense's full collection of anal toys and find the one that actually fits how you want to explore.